The Green Agenda

Do you believe that the world is on it's way to destruction due to our current constant buggery of technological development?

"Technological development destroys the planet."

Do you believe that technological development is saving lives and making the world a better place?

"Technological development does save us."

Obviously the world would not stop in technological advancement. And if believed so, are we actually killing ourselves?

Now, what if i told you about the curve i believe in? Or rather something the world hopes is true. Either way, i'm guessing it makes sense and that it is somehow true. i believe that technological development in its early stage will indefinitely bring about damage. This will continue until a point where new methods are present to counteract this effect, and after that newer problems would present itself as a result to such methods. Method after methods would be present, all to fix the problems that every stage of technological development has caused. It is continuous and will be ever present as long as progress and change is existent.

Global warming, something feared by all yet strangely almost funded by all. If such a curve is indeed true men would see global warming getting worse and worse over these years, and gradually slow down as new advances are present. These new advances would soon find a solution to this problem and would truly fix it. This doesn't fix everything and new problems will soon emerge causing the cycle to repeat itself. This calls for more advancement to fix things...

Yes i believe in Extropianism. The believe that continuous advancement in science is necessary for us to live. Human intelligence is the prime factor in our current state that will ensure the existence of human life in the future.

The problems faced by men many years ago were problems most would not have to go through today. The food issue is still in battle and no doubt would fix itself in a matter of time. Problems will without doubt change as time passes and will present itself in new forms. Could today's issues on global warming and pollution be just a problem waiting to be solved and then changed into something else instead of a definite fact that is believed to be our cause of destruction?

Either way, i still believe that it is not something that should be deemed as the 'final'. Still it could be, if only we allowed it... But seriously are we humans that stupid? Well, the world has always been consisted of a constant ratio of idiots, average, disabled, ignorant and the sought to as geniuses. It has been and will always be. Technically not really anymore, as those would still be subject to much change.

As such is my belief, i conclude that foolish are those who claim that advancement is bad. Foolish are those who neglect problems for the sake of advancement. And foolish are those who believe in all that i have said and yet do not continue to worry about the problems they are in. The lack of advancement in fact would doom us all due to our current conditions, but yet an advancement too quick would be sure to do the same. Either way a lack of advancement is not possible. Advancement too quick would be too easily done, and advancement that is well planned and coordinated is something we would be trying to improve for the rest of our lifetime...

The negligence of problems would result in mankind unable to cope with the drastic change in problems and as a result fail to truly understand things thus leading to extinction.

Technological advancement and it's effects are inevitable. But the ability to solve all problems faced would be dependent on men themselves.

Hmmm its just amazing how the use of such informal nontechnical language could still be used in an attempt to write such a post.

Obsession... (The Woody Curls)

Little known fact...

Obsession. The thought that dominates persistently, follows you everywhere, consuming you, filling you with every desire known. The very emotion that gives you the reason to live. Reason to do something stupid.... i for one, am the very victim to my obsessions.

Just sitting down alone, doing the random thinking i usually do and a silly question popped up.

Why do i spend my time doing this? Come to think of it, i never thought about it that much. So i thought and thought and thought even more... What am i thinking of today... What was it yesterday?.... Erm pretty much the same thing.... What was it last month? Erm the same thing.... And what was it the month before? and the months before? And the year before?.... Argh forget it. Now, go back to when i was a child, what did i usually think of then?

Astonishingly, the things i think about are usually repetitive and continue on til i stumble upon something new... And a new thought came in... i, lived on obsessions... Come to think of it, there isn't a day in my life where i had nothing to get obsessed about. Obsessions are the reason i live for, there's always something in it that sparks curiosity, something in it that pushes me forward. To live, to see, to experience...

Today, this preoccupies me, i want to know. What is it that causes me to move into this state of restlessness. Often times the thought of why i'm obsessed is an obsession of its own. There are just too many complicated feelings in this world. Too many to which i only do not understand the few that confuses me. i limit myself to the very few emotions present to me. i do not wish to be in something i do not understand. i do know what things are, things are always as they seem. The way they seem is a subject to much change.

My feelings are not my subject of special talent, all i am is passion. A passion to the obvious. Because i am obvious.

i want to change, no more can i bear this. i just wish that something else would come my way and take me out of this pointless state. Nothing really changes. Nothing does really matter, because all i did was try to understand myself, i only tried and never bothered about what it really was. And in that i have wasted everything i had. And in that, i truly am sorry.

i do know, i could have proved better. i do know i could have done better. i do know i was capable of accepting it. i could have, i should have...

i know what i should have done, i know what i should have said. i know i was so much more. i'm sorry for being one sided, for all i mentioned was the i's. But still, i was afraid. Afraid that it was something more. Something i was afraid off. Because without it, i am alone. Just alone, with no direction, no comfort and with little reason. i needed it, i knew what it felt like. But all i wanted was to know.

i know that it is lost now, i know i will never have it back... Because i know that things do change, and that something else will come. Nothing changes within me. i know it makes me happy, for all it has done...

Would i give myself every reason to be obsessed now? In this case, i will. In this case, i want to. And in your case, i will.

Well, if you really knew me and understood an obsession. You would know i would not give it up for anything in the world. Because an obsession is just, still yet an obsession.

My obsession, is in fact a special essence. Reserved, pure and focused. Something that is immaterial, but existent.....

Self Tweak

SelfTweakingInProcess..........

First Flight = Mmmmmmhmmmmmm

Well i obviously do not look like pilot material aye? Still working on it and progress is fast i guarantee.

It started with the signing of documents at the Royal Aero Club at Jandakot airport... "Oh yea Romeo Whisey Yankey is the first plane i'm gonna fly".... "Put your name here"... "What??? Miss i'm the pilot???"..."Yes, you're the pilot, doesn't sound right but you're the pilot."

Never thought the day would come when i would march proudly up to the tiny Cessna 152 while  holding my headgear and equipment... Here comes the tedious part, the routine check before every flight... Gosh it was just a pain making sure everything was perfect. Or near perfect as the plane looked really really old... Still amazed that it actually could fly pretty well...

When the final moments arrived, i could just feel some rush of exitement running all over me. The runway looked like an extra widened tar road with massive tyre markings all over it. Kinda made it look scary with all that tyre marks, as though accidents and skids happened so frequently there. Oh yes, i forgot to mention how small the cockpit was. Literally cramped up, with tiny seats, and loads of flight instruments lying around. No room for relaxation and certainly  no room for panic... 

Full power applied and we could feel the aircraft speeding up slowly getting lighter and lighter (we because my teacher was beside me). Finally, reaching the safe speed for climbing it was then when the fun began... i knew i performed well, because it was only on the basics and yeah i have done things more dangerous and difficult in flight simulator... "This is way easier than flight sim isn't it?" she asked... Oh well, it really was.

Will never lie to you that i did feel afraid during one part of the lesson. It was when i had to experience how it would feel when the throttle/engine was fully closed. That was at 3000 feet. Somehow i was not fully informed that my teacher was about to do that, but i do remember observing her slowly closing the throttle. It was an automated instant reaction for my hands to grab the seat and freeze. The feeling was not pleasant at all. At 3ooo feet, when the nose of the plane starts pitching down. When there's a feeling of sudden rapid descent... All you do is open your eyes wide and freeze. It is fine as she told me that there are some students even after 20 lessons, they still react the way i do whenever that happens. However i think i got used to it after awhile.

And oh yes, the plane would not crash even if you pointed the nose all the way down and let go of all controls. Simply because as it goes down speed increases and it sorta pushes the plane back to its original state. That's how planes fly in general. But well the feeling won't be good experiencing such a rate of descent.

Landing was a little tricky and all i did was help open flaps and held on to the throttle in case of an emergency... After all it is an airline joke that the only use of the co-pilot was to check if the undercarriage was ready for landing. Only that i was that pilot of that day, and yeah... The pilot did not know how to perform radio operations before landing.

Well i did clear our landing...

"Romeo Whiskey Yankey, Runway 06 Clear...."

"Your first flight!" "Yes Miss, and am i glad."

And yes, not leaving this out... i'm trying to get a gliding scholarship. Which would pay til i could fly solo on a glider. Oh can't get enough of the air can i?

Well god obviously never liked them....

This is the sound a person makes when his life is about to end. 56 years and i'm not avoiding it because its something deep, but i'm avoiding it because its something shallow. In most parts of the world they kill people like me. People who have nothing to bring but bad news. Anything as long as it makes them feel better. Somehow the things i have done made me the arch enemy of the world.................. They wanted my head............... Told them i could walk around without it ............................................. i didn't even like the world, never even liked being a part of it.............................

People say what i did was out of passion, but to tell the truth, there wasn't any passion to it. Been planning to do so for as long as i remember. The world is just filled with people who complain. Doesn't matter who it was, i watched people complain to others who complain. Watched them run, watched them walk out on one another, watched them get help... It got me sick that people bring their problems to one another and for the entire world. i got it all worked out that everyone hangs on for everyone else. Never believed people actually trifle in that belief. People love to be prepared for the worst, so that nothing they didn't have could be taken from them. Makes them afraid of losing it. Nobody would ever admit it because they think it's all about them. They never will let it pass, but they wouldn't open up to it...

If you ever stopped in this world to watch your paths, you've stopped right where i stopped. Never saw anything when i did, thought about it and raised the question again... But if you stopped for someone, you've stopped to rot... The needy are there only to slow the progress of mankind. People just don't realize that... If nobody will accept what i tell them, then i don't know what else i could do. i had to make the call.... Saw it as some sacred calling... If nobody did, it wouldn't be fair, it wouldn't even be right... Been living all my life, took me a whole 3 decade to get to where i was... At that point i had to put up with my life, just didn't know it. But had to say it.

i know that we live in a world where everyone matters. Men always fall in and out of the debate that all life is sacred and matters... They created ways to show that everyone is important... The god agenda... The selfless image people try to live up to... All just to show that all life is important... Is it that important, that people are willing to live in an act to achieve human respect? If it really is nature to be selfless then what has nature created out of me? All i see is a plan for survival, a plan for the future, a plan to bring my nation to victory.... If it really is a higher call to play god and righteous, then god obviously must never have liked them....

All my life i spent it punishing those whom i thought were inferior... Never once occurred to me that their lives mattered. That's the way the world works... Nature is designed to preserve the stronger and extinguish the weak. It wouldn't be rational to have the needy helped... Does it occur to me now that i'm a victim of my own ideology?

After all i did is my life important to god? is my life considered sacred anymore? i know about hell... i'd be there in 16 minutes... Still.... Do i deserve it? 

Now even the righteous think i deserve it, don't we have the same ideology then? Those under your control deserve anything you wish bestowed unto them......Are you planning to punish me or them? Guess god never liked me either....

If the ultimate test of men is to see how well they treat those under their control, it would be a test failed by all.... The nature of cruelty is hierarchical... Never has it mattered unless you are on the bottom...

Death is just seconds away... And i feel depressed... What depresses me is not death itself, but the very fact that i am still the same person as i was before... It depresses me because it doesn't make any difference at all in the way i think and feel....

i'm going to die.....

Pity me will you? i guess this is how i sound before i die...